Life of a Marine Wife: The Boys are Back in Town!

So while you may have gathered from my last post that Jordan has been busy with work and I have been spending a lot of time with girlfriends, what you may not have known is that for the last 3 weeks Jordan's squadron has been gone for training. Half of the squadron was out on the USS Peleliu, and the other half were on the Big Island. This was part of the Rimpac exercises mentioned previously. And while the separation during training is nothing new, I found myself out of shape, so to say.

The longest amount of time we have spent apart has been 6 weeks during Jordan's two summer Officer Candidate School sessions. And although I only spoke with him via phone maybe 3 times over those 6 weeks, we were able to write old school, pen and paper letters back and forth. I also was still living at home and had the comfort of family, friends and work to distract and comfort me. When we lived in VA, our first move across the country from family and friends, Jordan was often gone for one week out of every month, the longest being 10 days, but the weeks went fast with the joined commiseration and company of the other spouses also going through the same thing.

This time felt different than the many previous experiences in the past, especially since the support systems I have depended on and found comfort in during the past, family and a large community of spouses, were not here. Furthermore, Jordan and I were to be basically unable to communicate this entire time, with the exception of a random text message which may be able to be exchanged when the ship just happened to be close to land. Gosh, I don't know how people get through deployments! Even the mere thought of it is overwhelming!

The day of, Jordan leaves. I'm not ready. The previous weekend leading up to his absence I tried to live in the moment and not allow the impending events interfere with our present happiness. However, every once in awhile, the gravity of the next few weeks would hit me when my mind was blank, and in flowed the very thoughts I was hoping to keep at bay. Each time, I was hit with an instant wave of anxiety. Well at least what I identify as anxiety. For me it's a sort of a giant air bubble, in between your throat and chest, combined with a slight naseaus feeling. I exercised my mental strength to consciously push it aside in order to prevent that dread from ruining our present, last moments together.

The morning of, I still didn't allow myself to think about what exactly Jordan was leaving for that day for, and we acted like it was any other morning. I made him coffee and kissed him goodbye, although I did also slip a few notes in his seabag as well. I went to spin class that morning as usual and planned on continuing on with my day with a car service appointment, a trip to our po box in the next town over, and later that afternoon, a beach trip with friends. However, because the unofficial Marine Corps motto is "hurry up and wait," our goodbye wouldn't be that easy and clean cut.

Jordan first texted me that he had forgotten his iPod, and with nothing to do on boat, I offered to bring it to him. Jordan was also told that he needed to bring cash for purchases on the boat, and since he was too busy with meetings for his legal ground job to be able to drive to an ATM himself before the bus for the boat left, I made it to base with a surprise lunch and the items he needed, and was so thankful I got to see him just one more time before the next 504 hours apart. However, it wasn't until I was halfway to our PO Box in the nearby town of Kaneohe that I realized we forgot to exchange the cash he needed. Without it, he wouldn't be able to pay for meals and therefore eat on board the ship. And we all know how Jordan eats... without a generous and continuous supply of food, it would be almost certain death! I returned in a rush at the designated spot we had agreed upon. Despite my promptness, I waited. And waited. And waited. I saw buses come and go. Come and go. I began to wonder and worry whether or not I had missed Jordan's bus to the boat after all. However, Jordan's legal meetings had extended so long, that despite my efforts to hurry back with the needed cash, he still missed even the very last bus. Since he missed the last bus, he was on his own to drive to Pearl Harbor by 6pm, where the USS Peleliu was docked. With time now comfortably in our favor, we decided to once again be thankful to be delaying the impending time apart.

We decided to go to the housing office on base to check on our place on the almighty wait list. We are now number 47, as compared to where we started at 73. After discovering our new number, we attempted to visualize our intentions into existence by driving through neighborhoods on base, picking out our future house. There was no better way to spend our last moments together than living life with my best friend and excitedly looking forward to our future together. We said goodbye AGAIN, and at this point I was ready for this drawn out, prolonged goodbye/torture process to be over.

View from the neighborhoods on base: good things come to those that wait, right?

And while 21 days seemed overwhelming, and yes pathetically-so for those who have gone through deployments, my strength came from taping into old coping methods; the most helpful of which was: turning lemons into lemonade. I have been focusing on the lemonade, which in this case would be: less laundry, a cleaner house, less cooking, a cheaper grocery bill, and less dishes (especially since we do not currently have a dishwasher).

While I did miss Jordan while he was gone, I was also greatly grateful for the time spent with the other wives also in this situation. Living on this small island, our friends become our family, as we have no one else here to lean on. My good friend Ashley (from Corpus) and I met a few other wonderful women during this time. We spent time at the beautiful beaches, the farmers markets, and drinking an occasional glass of wine at happy hour at Whole Foods (so classy)!

L to R: Me, Katie and Ashely, at Whole Foods

L to R: Julie, Katie, Brandi, Ashley, and Me getting dinner at Pinky's Pupu Bar. Pupu means appetizer!

Katie and I, celebrating a new friend's birthday! Thankful for military wives, who always become fast friends!

As I mentioned, Jordan had limited service out on the boat. However, I did get a few text messages. One of which informed me that they ran out of sheets on ship, so he had to find cheap, twin size sheets at the closest store within walking distance to the boat... We are still waiting to hear whether he gets a call-sign from these: Princess? Cinderella? Cinderelly?

Side note: those pictures I posted last week of the ships off the coast were of Jordan's ship!!! He would give me the heads up, and I would head to the beach with Gunnar and we would stand on the shore and wave, him also simultaneously standing on the boat's deck and waving. And although we couldn't see eachother, it was such a comfort to be able to have this experience.

Gunnar waiting at the beach to see the USS Peleliu and Jordan in the distance.

USS Peleliu in the distance from Kailua Beach

After two weeks the boat was docking on the Big Island, meeting up with the other half of the squadron, and Jordan finally had service. We scheduled a FaceTime (iPhone version of Skype) date for that Saturday at 9am. I was so excited but also so nervous. I felt as if I was getting ready for a blind date.

In order to keep the authenticity in documenting this moment, I have an honest, but embarrassing, confession to make: I overslept. However, in that moment, I thought to myself, at least it's only a FaceTime date, it's not like I HAVE to squeeze in a shower, he isn't going to smell me afterall! All that matters is that I look pretty!!!!!! So I hurriedly dressed, did a quick clean (solely in the background that was to be in our FaceTime video date) and waited for his any-second call. I waited. And waited. And waited. Perhaps "hurry up and wait" should be the official motto of the Marine Corps. Jordan would text me intermittently that he had gotten tied up with work and it would only be another half an hour. So I trustfully and unsuspectingly continued to wait, and wait and wait....

Knock, knock, knock...

This guy (with a mustache!) just happened to show up in my doorstep! I have always said that despite his thoughtful attempts, Jordan has never been able to pull off a surprise on me. Never. Well he 100% got me on this one. I reacted with a mixture of shock and emotions, and despite instinctively wanting to slam the door shut on this creepy guy with a mustache, I eventually dissolved in to a mess of tears.

In the end, I only had to endure 2/3 weeks of the Rimpac training session. However, Jordan has a lot of other upcoming training obligations that are going to take him away again very soon, so I was so thankful to have this extra, unexpected time together.

The rest of the squadron would return a week later, all of them also sporting mustaches, or molestaches as we like to call them because the guys all look like creepy child molesters. Jordan kept his mustache while back at home in unity with his fellow Scarface Squardon co-workers still gone, and they all reunited in one last 'stache supper, as we have come to call it!