Rockstars and Groupies

Jordan has a favorite motto, that in life, there are rock stars and there are groupies. And on this day in history, September 14, 2013, Jordan is officially a rock star, and I couldn't be more honored to be his groupie! Jordan has just completed his very last flight in advanced helicopter training, and therefore has completed flight school for the United States Marine Corps!!!! Can you believe it?!? I don't think I could be more proud! Wooooohoooooooooo! A year ago this time, Jordan was in the final stages of completing the primary phase of flight school and selecting his flight platform. Well it just happens to be that time of year again, selection time. Since Jordan has just completed his very last flight in flight school, EVER! He will be finding out what helicopter he will be flying for the Marine Corps in about a week's time, and will be earning his "Wings of Gold" on September 27th, 2013! We can hardly believe it's all almost over! Wow, it's hard to comprehend how much Jordan has accomplished, learned, and grown in such a short amount of time. And while it all has seemed to have gone by so fast, when I  look back and think about all of the different past phases he has successfully progressed through, I am reminded about how scary each stage of training was and how exciting every accomplishment was...

Summer 2006/2008: This is truly where it all began. Jordan spent 2, 6 week sessions at Officer Candidate School in Quantico. After successfully completing two excruciatingly long summers, where Jordan lost a combined weight of one normal human (I remember at Jordan's graduation, the commanding officer of the school saying, "Jenny Craig has nothing on the Marine Corps"), he was now eligible to be commissioned as an officer in the United States Marine Corps upon completion of his Bachelor's degree.  I still remember picking Jordan up at the airport after his first summer... he walked right up to me and I didn't even recognize, he was SO SKINNY! While Jordan probably has nightmarish memories of these summers, my female recollections are contained in a shoebox,  filled to the brim with old fashioned love letters, that to this day, are still in a sacred spot in my closet. Although I have to say, it cracks me up when I read through them, as many of Jordan's letters were littered with long stray lines and marks, as he would fall asleep in class, the pen slipping off the page mid-word. This was the result of him getting a routine 2 restless hours of sleep each night for the duration of those 6 weeks! However, even those stray pen lines tell the story of his experience at OCS.

First week of Officer Candidate School, 2006. Not exactly "summer camp"!

Goofing around in the barracks. Summer 2006, India Company, 3rd Platoon

Successful Completion of Juniors at OCS, July 2006



And he was crazy enough to go back for more...Officer Candidate School, Seniors, Summer 2008

Officer Candidate School Graduation, Summer 2008. Jordan is now officially eligible to be commissioned a 2nd Lt. in the USMC upon completion of his degree.



The first of many proud moments to come!

June 2009: Jordan graduates from CSULB with his Bachelor's in Geopolitics. Let the commissioning process begin! Or so we thought...paperwork issues, and flight physical complications, caused a year of delays and frustration. However, it allowed us to spend our first year of marriage in California, which we will forever treasure!

 

 July 2010: Jordan is officially commissioned as a 2nd Lt in the United States Marine Corps

Jordan's dad commissioned Jordan, such a special moment!

 

 

Another proud moment!

March 2011: We set off on our very first move to Virginia where Jordan would be immersed in the living hell known as The Basic School. He battled mother nature (ticks and lyme disease, snakes and spiders, heat waves and heat stroke, bears and swarming attacks of bees) while learning the "art and science" of being a Marine Officer. The physical demands and the elements these Marines were immersed in produces flashbacks, that even now 2 years since graduating from TBS, still induces waves of nauseas when certain, sounds, scents, or sights temporarily trigger his brain into thinking he is back in the thick of his training there.

I will never forget the story he told me of one of his Land-Nav exercises, where he truly questioned whether he was going to live or die! As usual the heat index was probably well over 100 degrees that day, and he was out on a routine Land-Nav exercise. If you remember, the Marines had to navigate using an archaic compass and map by trudging through the dense, thick Quantico forests, while simultaneously trying not to lose an eye to any branches or get bit by any spiders, to find a certain number of boxes hidden throughout the 10 square mile area. Well for some reason that day, the water stations in the area Jordan's specific test boxes were hidden were completely empty. At some point, Jordan became so dehydrated, that his body stopped sweating all together. Each step required more effort than he had ever exerted in his life, and after each, single step, he found himself having to rest for a full minute. Every time he took a break, and sat back against the trunk of a tree, he had to muster the strength and find the survival instinct deep within himself, to force himself to keep moving, and not give in to the complete and utter exhaustion. 

 

On top of the already precarious water situation, Jordan realized he had forgotten his emergency whistle that day, that each Marine carries in case of emergency. At this point, Jordan truly thought there was a good chance he was going to die in those woods and only have his body discovered hours, if not days later, after a search party would scour the woods once realizing they were missing one of their numbers. He began stripping down layers of clothes, and was literally crawling at this point, abandoning any hope he ever had of completing the event altogether, with all his efforts focused solely on survival and on making it out of the woods and to the road, where the bus would find him. Like something out of a movie, not knowing if his dehydrated and disillusioned mind was playing tricks on him, he heard water. Thank God that it was truly a real stream and not a mirage, and Jordan, now stripped only to his boxers, plopped his extremely weakened body into that stream. Laying in that water managed to give Jordan enough energy and clarity of thought to crawl the rest of his way out of the woods and to the road, just in the nick of time to make the last bus making it's rounds. He must have looked quite a mess, sitting in that bus soaking wet, in only his boxers and unable to put together a sentence. Even later that evening, when he finally made it home and after drinking an entire gallon of Gatorade, he was still having trouble putting together complete sentences. Looking back now, after having survived that experience, he is actually grateful that he did not have his emergency whistle that day. Yes you read that right, despite suffering possible severe signs of heat stroke and the threat of permanent injury or death, it is a good thing he didn't have his whistle that day because he may have actually blown it. Any flight contract Marine who suffers heat stroke and is treated by a Corpsman, instantly loses his flight contract. And that to Jordan, would have been worse than death itself!

Although surviving the physical elements proved extremely dangerous and difficult, and many Marines failed out due to their inability to complete the physical side, that was only half the battle at TBS. The academic/classroom side was equally rigorous in its own way, and claimed just as many of his fellow Marines' careers, in their earliest of phases.

Out on a FEX, one of the week long field exercises, in Quantico



Just another typical day at work for Jordan



Graduation from The Basic School, September 2011

September 2011: Jordan graduates from The Basic School,  and has successfully learned and mastered the ability to be an Infantry Platoon Leader of the Marine Corps. We moved down to the Pensacola, FL area for the first time, where Jordan would officially begin Flight School.  It's so funny to look back on Jordan's first stage of flight school now, IFS(Introductory Flight Screening). While at the time, the work load and studying was overwhelming, cramming 6 months of FAA material and testing into 1/6 of the time,  it was only a preview of the ever increasing intense pace to come. Similarly, thinking back now to his first flights at that small, civilian private airport, in the Piper Warrior (where he flew in civilian clothes!), makes me laugh. I can still picture myself in the airport parking lot, sitting bundled up in the warmth of my car, watching on anxiously with a clenched jaw each time Jordan  took off or landed. I always had that song, " I'm just sitting out here watchin' airplanes, wondering which one you might be on..." playing through my head as I nervously awaited his plane each time he circled above the airport doing his touch-and-goes! Little would I know how basic and elementary this would be compared to the take off and landing speeds, as well as the acrobatic maneuvers and emergency simulated procedures, Jordan would be doing in the T-34 in the primary phase of flight school at Corpus Christi!

The Piper Warrior, the civilian plane Jordan learned to fly on at IFS

 

First Solo of Flight School, Complete!

Proud Moment #??? I have lost count!

 

After IFS, Jordan moved on to API (Aviation Preflight Indoctrination). If you remember from the post, Marine Wife Lesson #3: Never Bother Unpacking , API consisted of more rigorous studying, covering material such as: aerodynamics, flight physiology, aircraft engines and systems, aviation weather, navigation, and flight rules and regulations. The flight program saw their numbers drop again as the pace and workload became ever more strenuous and difficult and weeded more and more hopeful aviators out of the system. During this time they also received extensive physical training including: water survival (who can forget the infamous Dilbert Dunker) and high altitude training. Upon completion of API, Jordan officially earned his military onesie flight suit!

Jordan and I at the O-Club (Officer's Club) on "Flight Suit Friday"

 March 2012: While the majority of Jordan's peers stayed in the Pensacola area for Primary at Whiting Field, Jordan was one of the few lucky ones to go to Corpus Christi, TX for Primary. Yes, I was not the fondest of the area, I think I have made myself very clear on that topic a few times now, but looking back, I am grateful for it. I am grateful for the experience in another state, and the culture that came with it, and for the wonderful friends we made. A good number of Jordan's friends and peers from Primary in Corpus will be in his winging class this month, so it will be a great celebration for all of these guys!

Jordan loved Primary because he was finally back up in the air flying again! Jordan was introduced to the never-ending world of EP memorization, emergency procedures for the T-34 aircraft that were hundreds and hundreds in numbers, and organized in small trusty yellow binders that came with us everywhere! However, instead of just hitting the books, Jordan was now flying or in the simulators every single day, sometimes twice a day. His study sessions became more like intense cramming sessions the night before, as the time that the actual flying itself consumed in his life, allowed for very little time to study for the following day's brief, which is essentially a 1.5-3 hour oral exam pre-empting every flight. Somehow, the studying had become an even bigger, more intense part of his daily routine than before, although he would never have believed it possibly could get more rigorous or more time consuming than it was in IFS or API!  Here is my personal, Marine/House-wife analogy: It's kind of like that darn resistance dial on the spin bike in spinning classes. Just when you feel like you are physically at your limit, that the resistance on the bike can't possibly increase even a quarter of a turn and your legs can't possibly be strong enough to pedal another stroke, the instructor shouts for you to make two full turns of the dial! Somehow (after grunting and groaning) you manage to dig-in and rise to the new level of intensity that you are faced with! Make sense, ha ha? The contrast of our everyday worlds inside our marriage cracks me up! I'm going to avoid being redundant with further stories and details of his training at primary for those of you have followed this journey with us, but if you are interested in more information about this portion of his flight school experience, check out these past posts:No More Butter Bars and One More Stop...

The memories I will most remember from primary are, first the giant grin he had plastered across his face after his first flight, although he was slightly nauseous and completely exhausted from pulling so many G's on the numerous acrobatic manuevers his instructor introduced him to on his first flight! And of course, the pure, child-on-Christmas-morning, joy and excitement he radiated as he walked in the front door after each formation flight. And of course, I will never forget the sweat drenched flight suits that he came home in everyday, 5 shades darker in color than when he left, because the antiquated T-34 birds did not, or had faulty at best, air conditioning vents in the Texas extreme heat!

The T-34 aircraft Jordan flew in Primary at Corpus Christ

 

 

 

Formation flying over Corpus Christi

 

 

 

 

January 2013: Although Jordan completed Primary and selected his Platform in October, his report date to Advanced Flight School was not until the following year. Jordan greatly enjoyed the mental break and we took advantage of the time in between to recharge and vacation! However, immediately upon checking in to his new squadron, it was time to turn up that spin bike dial a few more notches and start spinning! Again, in attempt to not be redundant, you can find more information about Jordan's advanced helicopter training in these previous posts: Jordan, the "Baller" , The Art of Helicopter Flying , It's Called a Bro-lo, Dude , and Floridays . Plus, I would prefer to catch you up with a few new stories from these recent months that I have yet to document!

A few weeks back, Jordan completed his instrument training and earned his instrument rating as a pilot. The culmination of this section of training is another solo flight. If you remember however, helicopters require two pilots to fly, so Jordan took along another instrument rated pilot as his co-pilot and planned out his "bro-lo" flight to Tallahassee, FL. The day of the actual flight arrives, and Jordan is approved for his route, the weather is checked and approved, and the regular proceedings of weight and balance and start-up procedures commences. Jordan and his co-pilot take off as planned, expecting a few hour flight to Tallahassee and a few hour return trip home after refueling. Well in typical Florida, the Sunshine State, fashion, a torrential storm decides to pop up on the radar out of nowhere and derail all their plans. As I mentioned previously, before the pilots are cleared for take off, the weather is checked and approved. However, Florida weather has a mind all of it's own as we have come to learn during our time here:

 

Thank goodness Jordan was an instrument-rated pilot, because all of his training came quickly into play. The visibility outside the aircraft was completely non-existent, and the two pilots had to rely solely on their instruments. However, this too became increasingly challenging, as the turbulence of the storm began violently tossing the small helicopter like a Ping-Pong ball in the air, making reading the dials of the instruments impossible. Adding to the already completely chaotic state of things, the training helicopters are far from state of the art, and are frankly old as dirt, and water now was streaming violently inside the cockpit of the helicopter from multiple broken seals. Jordan had to tap into all of his months and months of training and EP (emergency procedure) memorization to handle this real life situation, without an experienced instructor by his side. Jordan was the lead pilot, and it was his responsibility to get this bird safely back to the ground. After contacting the approach towers for alternate detours and routes around the store, that too failed to provide any relief, Jordan had to shoot an emergency instrument landing approach. Relying soley on the instruments and gauges, and pitch black visibility outside the windows, they had to trust their training to land them blind at the runway. They continued to drop in altititude, each time hoping to break out of the fog and gain some visibility. However, the storm, even at these low levels, did not let up. Upon approaching their final, dangerously low, landing altitude, they needed to break through the storm and see the runway, or pull up and wave off the landing. Thankfully, at the very last second, they emerged from the fog and found the runway, just in time to plant the bird safely back on to solid ground. After landing, the two pilots just sat for a few seconds, taking in a few deep breaths before one of them said anything. Jordan was the one to break the silence, saying " that was some real-life sh*t man." His co-pilot responded by saying, "I'm just glad there was water coming inside the cock-pit so I could play off pissing myself if I needed to." There is no opposing force quite like mother nature.Thankfully, the boys did land safe and sound, and have a story to tell for it. They also were able to spend the night in Tallahassee and let the storm blow over, and also, blow off some of their stress-induced steam!

 

Since completing his instrument solo, Jordan has moved on to formation flying, search and rescue training and night flight training, where he flies in the pitch black dark through only the aid of their green night vision goggles! Which brings us to the present. Jordan just completed his last NVG flight (night vision goggles flight) and LFF (last f'ing flight-sorry Grandma and Grandpa, it's the Marine Corps). Jordan barely made the cut off for this next graduating, winging class, and he has flown six days this week, including today, on a Saturday night. However, Jordan's very last flight of his career in flight school before he moves on to the fleet, was with the commanding officer of his squadron HT-8. Jordan's CO does not fly often. His main job description isn't really to be an IP (instructor pilot), and he hardly ever flies like I said, let alone on the weekend, let alone on a Saturday NIGHT flight. However, he requested to be Jordan's instructing pilot for his very last flight. Obviously I am "in" this world, so I realize how cool this is while some of you on the outside may not. Just take my word for it, this is such a cool experience and awesome honor. To add to the excitement of the night, Jordan's CO also requested that they fly on the Grey Ghost, instead of the regular training helos. All of the students fly on orange and white training helicopters; however, there is one helicopter that is painted matte grey for the centennial of Navy Aviation, to match the birds in the fleet. Again, in our world, this is such a cool, rare, and proud moment.



The TH-57 helicopter Jordan trains on

Jordan and the Grey Ghost

 

It was a great and exciting culmination of his flight school experience. To bring everything full circle I will leave you with one more short story. On a recent commercial flight back to Pensacola, a passenger noticed Jordan's Marine Officer backpack, and asked him if he was an Officer in the Marine Corps, to which Jordan replied yes. This young man had just signed up for Officer Candidate School, and was flying in to Pensacola for his first flight physical. This kid was in Jordan's spot 7 years ago, and it was a very surreal moment for Jordan to see and reflect back on how quickly time has somehow gone and how much he has achieved in these last 7 years. It must have been equally motivating, if not a bit overwhelming at the long timeline that lay ahead for him, for this young Marine officer candidate.

 

 

Semper Fi family and friends, until next time, when Jordan will be earning his Wings of Gold, take care!

 

Thoughts on Stereotypes, Sun-Gazing, and Other Spare Time Ramblings...

I am on a roll with these blogs (read: Jordan is very busy/gone a lot this week, and I have quite a bit of spare time on my hands!).

In the spirit of last blog, I found myself feeling close to empty by this weekend, and was really looking forward to our weekend routine and the activities that always rejuvenate my spirit and fill up my tank with positive energy for the week to come.  Saturdays at 10am is our Hot Yoga class in downtown Pensacola. Originally we went for the workout, which includes an hour and half of yoga in a room that is heated up to about 90-100 degress. Within 5 minutes of the class starting, you are literally coated in a layer of sweat and you are wondering how on earth you are going to manage to survive another hour and twenty five minutes without sweating out every ounce of water that is vitally essential in our bodies. While the class is a great and unique workout, what we didn't know we would be finding is the spirituality and oneness within ourselves during these 90 minutes. The instructor has a beautiful philosophy and way of leading the class, starting and ending with a meditation and chant, and guiding us to connect mind, body, and breath throughout each pose. The heat enhances flexibility and detoxification, and by the end of the class, when the french doors are opened and the breeze blows over us as we lay in Savasana (corpse pose, aka basically laying flat out on your back in complete and utter release and relaxation), you feel absolutely refreshed and exhilarated, both in body and spirit.

Sometime over the weekend, we try to tune in to Saddleback Church from their online campus, and watch one of the sermons that are offered. Rick Warren has a way of leading a worship that is so different from the traditional Catholic masses I grew up with. His way of speaking on a topic, while at the same time leading a bible study, makes living the Word throughout the week and keeping the Lord's presence in your everyday life so much more attainable. Supplementing the Christian service, Jordan and I greatly enjoy St. Ann's contemporary mass in Gulf Breeze on Sundays at 11am. The service follows the same format as a traditional Catholic mass, but the music is more contemporary and upbeat, and we find ourselves, along with the rest of the congregation, lost in the joy of the worship! Since we are already on Gulf Breeze, we usually take the bridge over to Pensacola Beach after mass to spend the rest of the day at the beach, basking in the beauty of the Lord's creation and living the day free from the distractions of modern technology.

Unfortunately this weekend was not our weekend. We overslept on Saturday, and missed Yoga, strike one. We overslept Sunday (because we caught a late showing of Lee Daniel's The Butler on Saturday night), and didn't allow ourselves enough time to get ready and make the 45 min drive to St. Anne's, strike two. And on top of that, we are in the midst of 48-hour long southern thunder storm, complete with power outages, house-rattling thunder, and flooding, courtesy of Erin in the Gulf of Mexico (although I should be thankful it's just rain and not a hurricane). This made tuning in to the Saddleback Church's services this morning impossible and so frustrating, as we had already missed both yoga and mass, and were desperately wanting to be able to tune in. Strike three. This led to lots of frustration, aggravation, and plain old grumpiness...

It's amazing how after incorporating hot yoga, Saddleback Church, and St. Ann's contemporary mass on Sundays, into our life, I really miss and need their presence. I guess once you realize how great you can feel, how lifted your spirit can be, you recognize their absence; although in reality we lived our  lives up until 4-5 months ago without any of them. It's as if we have reset the bar so to say, and therefore our baseline of fulfillment has changed as well, creating a void where once we didn't know anything was missing. I am already experiencing anxiety about the idea of losing these beautiful new supplements in our life, and am nervous about finding a comparable substitution that can reach us and lift our spirits at the level that each of these do, once we leave Pensacola. However, in the spirit of turning negative energy into positive energy, I am thankful for our crazy, strike-out of a weekend, which has made me even more appreciative of these newfound passions that have come into our life. I am also grateful to realize that again, we aren't just going through the motions of religion, this weekend has helped me to see that we truly have begun to experience our spirituality on a stronger level, as we finding ourselves needing it, and wanting more. We have awoken a passion inside ourselves for it, and that realization is awesome! 

In addition to evolving into yoga-going, meditation-loving, spiritual beings, Jordan has further delved into the world of hippie-dom (did I mention we turned our sunroom into a yoga/meditation space?). I am sure most of you already know about Jordan's obsession with healthy eating, and specifically the paleo diet. However, most of you may not know he has taken it to a whole other level recently. Along with the meat, fish, poultry, fruit & veggie, nut, and produce diet that we consume, Jordan has infused a substantial dose of ACV into our life. ACV=Apple Cider Vinegar. It has now become the cure all to cure all. It originally started from Jordan attempting to decalcify his pineal gland. The what?!?! Don't worry, I never knew it existed either! The pineal gland is located in our brains, and called the body's third eye. It even has a retina and a cornea believe it or not. It is supposedly calcified by the age of 3 because of all the floride in our waters. So in attempt to awaken our third eye, which according to various spiritual philosophies is responsible for mystical awakening, enlightment, creativity, and higher states of consciousness, we have started consuming apple cider vinegar and using flouride free touth paste and deoderant.  Jordan has also begun staring at the sun for a minute every day before sunset. Yep, seriously. I told him that perhaps he should save this health experiment until after his flight career for the sake of preserving his perfect vision? But he continues.  Not only have we started drinking it, Jordan has convinced me it cures ear infections and makes for cleaner healthier hair. He has in fact used it in his ears to prevent an oncoming ear infection. (However, I think many men tend to be babies when it comes to "being sick" and whether or not an ear infection was actually in the works is debatable).




Our yoga/meditation sunroom


Upon discussing my husbands recent digress into hippie insanity back in California with my family a few months back, Gayle or Larry had mentioned that Jordan sounded like something straight out of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but instead of Windex as the universal cure-all, it was ACV. Although I cant remember which half of the witty couple made the comment in order to give proper credit to, the analogy couldn't be more accurate. Did I mention Gunnar is no exception to the ACV movement in our household? We now use it to help with his recurring ear-infections and help with his allergies. And I actually do have to admit, ACV for the hair actually works pretty well, my hair has felt extremely light and clean, really stripped of build up from styling products, since incorporating it into my beauty routine.  Right up there with ACV, we have also come to appreciate the many uses of coconut oil as another cure all, for both us and Gunner.

When I speak about and share these odd habits we have developed over the last couple years, the stories are usually met with lots of laughter and amusement. However, to change directions a bit here, I find it really highlights the diversity of people that make up the Marine Corps. Unfortunately, there are many negative stereotypes that often times are associated with the words "military family" in the United States, and I don't know if anyone can really stereotype or sum up such a large group of people, from such a diversity of backgrounds, by one term.

I recently read a book called Home Front, by Kristin Hannah. The book is about a female helicopter pilot, who must leave behind her family and a struggling marriage to deploy to Afghanistan.  While deployed, her helicopter is shot down and she is severely injured, resulting in the loss of one of her legs. As if the book could be even more depressing and heart-wrenching, she returns home and attempts to relearn how to do normal activities and re-integrate herself back in to her family, as well as having to confront all the resentments and confusion that follows within all the relationships of her family- husband and wife, parent and child. It is far from the most uplifting book to say the least, and I actually don't recommend it to anyone at all. Honestly, I am not sure what made me buy the book in the first place, as I had a constant stream of tears running down my face the entire time I was reading it. Oh yes -now I remember! It was in the bargain priced section at Barnes and Nobles and I was looking for a quick, cheap, summer read! Ha, ha! ANYWAY, the point of all of this was simply, the book mentions the word "military family" often, and the stereotypes that are associated with it. It especially struck a nerve, and got me thinking when the husband's character refused to associate his own family with that, in his mind, derogatory term...

It's funny thinking back, and reflecting on how close I was to the military growing up-from Miramar, to Camp Pendleton, and even El Toro, we were literally surrounded by military bases on all sides. And despite the close proximity, I can honestly attest to the fact that I really didn't have any of these stereotypes or preconceived notions of the military or military families before Jordan joined. I remember driving down The 5 freeway often as a child to San Diego. We would see tanks on the freeway and helicopters hovering overhead. Often times my dad would point out the training being conducted on the right, beach-side of the freeway and the camouflaged mesh tents which he explained were made to look like hills to the enemy above. However, besides these quick observations of my immediate surroundings in those moments, and perhaps a few questions during those times, I never gave much thought to the military or the life of military families. I guess such is the narrow perception of a child's world.

My uncle Larry (my other uncle Larry) was active duty in the Navy while I was growing up as well. I remember hearing about how Nancy and him had lived in Pensacola, and how that had seemed so exotic and far way at the time-who knew I would one day live there myself, twice! I remember knowing as a child that their family had moved a few times, that Larry was gone on a ship for a while, and I have a memory of welcoming his ship back to port in San Diego. But randomly, my most vivid memory, was a present Larry gave me, it was a hot-pink shirt with a gecko on it from Guam? or perhaps it was Hawaii? I may not remember where it was from, but I remember the gecko and that it was pink! Again, the small, limited observations and self-consumed memories of a child!

Perhaps, despite being surrounded by the military growing up, the reason I never thought much about the military or military families, was we were blessed enough to grow up during a relative peace time. During my years of conscious global awareness, the world was at a relative calm between Desert storm, which I was really too young to comprehend, and then 9/11. It's ironic that a mere week before 9/11, I sat in my junior history class the first day, listening to Mr. Young saying that we were such a blessed generation to have grown up and experienced such a global calmness, and that it is harder for our generation to grasp the tragedy of what is written in our history books of wars past, because we can not personally relate to the loss or understand the ripple effect of ramifications that these conflicts create in society and the economy. His challenge as a teacher of history, as was his first day speech every year, was to get our generation to see history as more than words in the textbook and pictures on a page, to really understand and feel history.  Less than a week later I would be sitting cross-legged on the light blue carpet (ha ha, remember that!) of my bedroom floor in front of the mirror getting ready for school and listening to K-earth 101 as I did everyday, when a newsflash would come on between songs about a plane hitting one of the twin towers. I mentioned it to my mom as I had breakfast before heading off to school, all of us still unaware of the magnitude of what was to unfold that day. Later that day, I sat in that same sophomore history class with Mr. Young, watching the news as the twin towers fell, our generation no longer the sheltered, blessed generation, free from the travesties of what war held. When I returned home from school, my dad spoke to me. He told me that this day is something that you will remember the rest of your life. You will remember exactly where you were and what you were doing because it is something that will change the course of yours and everyone's future, much like Pearl Harbor was for generations past. My dad called my soccer coach that day, and told him I wouldn't be attending practice, and out of respect for everyone, their families, and the country, he humbly suggested that practice should be cancelled and we should all be spending time with our families and remembering what matters most in life. Not sure if practice was cancelled for everyone or not, but like my dad said, 12 years later, I still remember that day, where I was and how I was feeling, like it was yesterday.  However, little did I know that that event, and that day, truly was a fork in the road for my own future, because it influenced the direction of my future husband's life decisions.

Although even after 9/11, I  don't know if I really thought much more in depth about the military or military families other than becoming a consciously patriotic American who supported our troops. We all started wearing yellow ribbons pinned to our backpacks. The war caused controversy at school with the yellow ribbons, and certain religion teachers believing this suggested supporting the war and therefore violence, and we were only allowed to wear yellow WITH white ribbons in support of the troops but with the intention of peace, or we would risk getting a detention. However even though I was aware of world events and now 16 years old, I never consciously thought past my immediate reality of high school. I never had stereotypes of people in the military or military families, and was unaware that so many existed. Again maybe that is exactly the point I will eventually get around to trying to make amongst all this rambling: that while the military dictates much of one's lifestyle, it does not dictate who one is as a person. Perhaps, seeing the world from a simple child's perspective is really the way we should see people and the world around us...

Unfortunately, the adult world we live in, isn't so kind, simple and honest as the one lived in from a child's mind. There are a plethora of unfair judgments and stereotypes in our adult world, and military families unfortunately receive quite a few harsh and unfavorable ones : white trash, kids with no other options in their lives, uneducated, lower-class, unemployed wives who just sit at home and have babies, etc. We have all heard them and there is no denying they exist. Through my personal experience thus far, I find these stereotypes so infuriating, but more so, such an injustice to the beautiful, unique, and diverse people that make up this community.  There are 50 states in this nation, and as Jordan and I have begun to discover, each state (as well as the numerous cities, and every single niche within those cities) has it's own culture, it's own community, and it's own spirit. We have become friends with couples from: Oregon, Washington, Wyoming, South Dakota, Texas, Philadelphia, Illinois, Ohio, Georgia, and on and on. Those were just the first 9 couples that popped into my head in that moment. There is no way that the term "military family," as singled out in the book I mentioned above (way above, after all this rambling),  can be used as a singular adjective, which is furthermore linked to so many connotations, stereotypes and associations, to describe and fully explain and capture so many people and beautiful personalities,  from so many different walks of life.

Of course, there are uniquely unifying experiences because of the demands of the military that have and will unite all of us diverse personalities: numerous moves, time apart, giving birth to children alone, children growing up with long lapses in time where one parent is apart, one spouse trying to build a career through multiple moves, children changing schools, the threat of harm to loved one deployed. So in that way, yes, there are some situations we all experience because of the lifestyle that goes along with one partner's career in the military,  that those who fall under the umbrella "military family" do have in common; however, I despise the stereotypes that permeate our society as to the type of people that are in the military. I think Jordan and I as a family, especially with our hippie nature and California upbringing, for example defy many of those stereotypes, and furthermore, we are uniquely different from so many of our other amazing military friends- which is exactly what makes our life and this experience just so beautiful, interesting and fun to live!

Instead of dwelling on the negative stereotypes and providing arguments against or giving examples of just how wrong they are, I would rather explain the positive, laughter-filled evening I spent with my girlfriends one recent evening which perfectly illustrates the beauty of the various individuals that make up our Marine Corps family. Tuesday night has become our unofficial girls' night over the past two months.  We tend to have a somewhat revolving door of attendees based on who is in town or free to attend, which makes each night it's own unique dynamic. Our routine involves meeting up in downtown Pensacola at the Atlas Oyster Bar for Tuesday night's half-price sushi dinner. We so much enjoy sitting out on the deck overlooking the harbor listening to live music and savoring the delicious, fresh seafood. We then migrate over to Pensacola Beach, where we enjoy the second part of our night at Bands on the Beach, where we are treated to a second round of live music. Each week, a different band performs in an outdoor amphitheater at the beach. With happy, full bellies, we sit out on blankets and enjoy the evening! We especially love to people watch all those confident beautiful souls, who without a care or second thought in the world, get up to fully embrace the moment and dance their hearts away to the beat of whatever is playing. The last time we attended it was country night, and there was this one older lady who must have mustered all of her energy to get up on her feet to dance to every single last word of "Sweet Home Alabama," all while she hand-motioned a snapping of a whip over her head,  the entire song.  Picturing her now has plastered a giant smile back on my face. How can you not love the South in moments like these?

Our night was filled with wonderful conversation and lots of laughs. The source of many of these laughs, as is most times, was the pure innocent entertainment and joy each of us finds in the uniqueness of one another's character and the different personalities and contributions we each bring to the table based on our own individual cultures growing up. Our smaller group this night in particular consisted of 4 girls, two from Texas, one from Georgia, and then of course me from Southern California. Many times we start off our night venting about how much we have looked forward to and needed a girls night. We especially bond over how the boys are so busy with flying, napping, and studying, that we in turn feel like prisoners in solitary confinement with no social contact! That night our conversation turned to playfully vent about the other activities which take up our husband's few precious moments of downtime they have each day. My Georgia girlfriend was talking about how her husband spends hours on Truck and Photography online forums, scouring for information and tips on his latest hobbies. One of my girlfriends from Texas, who's boyfriend is from South Dakota, was talking about her boyfriend's OBSESSION with reloading. He spends hour upon hour, in to the late hours of the night and early morning until he falls asleep in his desk chair, making his own bullets. I then proceeded to tell them all about Jordan's Apple Cider Vinegar theories, the Pineal Gland, and Sun Gazing. To each, their own! But perhaps my husband's hobbies may be a little bit stranger than the rest, evidenced by the shock and side-eyed glances I received upon sharing, ha ha ha.

It has become so interesting and so rewarding to meet people outside of California. For the most part growing up, we are only exposed to people who we have stuff in common with -where we have lived, what sports we have played, what schools we have attended. Therefore, it follows that out of these shared commonalities we would furthermore have similar tastes in most other things: food, activities, music, politics, religion, etc. A lot of who we are and what we are interested in is a a result of the culture we have lived in and experiences we have had. Therefore, when your friendships develop from this shared culture and experiences, you are going to have a lot naturally in common. Moving around the country, becoming a part of this beautifully diverse military family, has opened up a different type of friendship, ones that are always entertaining and interesting, as we constantly are learning and growing from the differences each person brings to the table with their various backgrounds, viewpoints, experiences, and cultures. It is so interesting, and conversations are so much more dynamic, when people are so different, but also so confident and proud of their differences. We find so much joy in our time together, as there is never a second of boredom or monotony, because there is always so much to be learned and so much innocent entertainment and laughter shared from the differences we share. I guess this is a bit reminiscent of what I shared back in the post: New Acronyms, Fried Okra, and Salmon.... However, even after becoming accustomed to inherent differences that military friendships have to offer from those that I experienced growing up,  I still find myself absolutely in love and amazed by what these unique friendships have to offer. I truly treasure each person we have met on this journey for exactly who they are, and am so grateful to have grown personally from knowing them.

With the upcoming second round of selection coming up, this above point has us thinking, are we really ready to stop growing, to stop exploring, to stop learning, by going back to our comfort zone and what we know. Don't get me wrong, I have greatly missed being close with my family, all the life events that I was not around to share, but more so the everyday moments that you lose when you live so far away. Going back home after time away would give us a newfound appreciation for what we have, and remind us to savor each and every opportunity that brings our family together. However, the possibility has me a bit nervous about losing the adventure that has become so much a treasured part of our life as well. I guess at the end of the day, whatever duty station Jordan is assigned to will have its pros and cons, and for that reason, we haven't invested all of our hope in one basket, so that we can be grateful for what is given to him, and see the positive and excitement in what will lay ahead in this next assignment.

On that note, there probably has been a bit of confusion about where we will be moving next, partly because I have been confused myself at times, and may have given false information (or hope!). Sorry!  I will lay out the details of the second round of selection that Jordan will be facing when he wings, probably around the end of next month. There are three specific helicopters that Jordan will be selecting from, and referencing from the descriptions on Marines.com, here is what they are and their  specific functions:

(note: these are listed in alphabetical order, and not in order of Jordan's preference, that like last time, will be kept a secret)


1. AH-1 (W & Z) Cobras- There are two versions of the Cobra that the Marine Corps currently uses, the Whiskey, and the newer model, the Zulu. The cobra is the Marine Corps primary attack helicopter. According to the description by Marines.com, "no aircraft defines the role of close air support better than the Marine AH-1 Super Cobra/Viper. Whether it's providing cover for advancing ground forces or escorting assault support helicopters en route to a landing zone, the AH-1 is called on when Marines need firepower from the air."

2. CH53E Super Stallion- the biggest of the three helicopters, it is used primarily for heavy lift transport. It can "carry a 26,000-pound Light Armored Vehicle, 16 tons of cargo 50 miles and back, or enough combat-loaded Marines to lead an assault or humanitarian operation; but perhaps what's most amazing about the largest military helicopter in the U.S. is what it achieves despite its size. Though powerful enough to lift every aircraft in the Marine inventory except the C-130, the CH-53E Super Stallion is compact enough to deploy on amphibious assault ships, and has the armament, speed and agility to qualify as much more than a heavy lifter."

3.UH-1Y Venom Super Hueys- Probably the most popular helicopter option amongst Jordan's friends right now, the Huey provides a combination of functions, and for that reason these pilots tend to get the most flying time in today's military. "No single aircraft provides a better blend of all six Marine Aviation functions than the Marine UH-1. A case study in Offensive Air Support, Assault Support, Command and Control, and Aerial Reconnaissance, the Marine utility helicopter of choice is truly a microcosm of Marine Aviation. With low-flying AH-1s (Cobras) aimed in on the hostile street ahead and hovering UH-1s (Hueys) covering adjacent rooftops, combat Marines can engage under the watchful eye of close air support."

After selecting, pilots usually first go to SERE (survival, evasion, resist, escape) school (basically they learn how to escape and withstand torture techniques if shot down over enemy territory) for two weeks, and then on to the RAG (Replacement Air Group) where they train specifically on the helicopter they have selected. Cobras and Hueys have their RAG at Camp Pendleton, CA. CH53s have their RAG at New River, NC. So there is a 2/3 chance that our next stop, at least for 6-8 months for the RAG, will be Southern California and a 1/3 chance we will be in North Carolina. After the completion of this training, pilots finally report to their duty station. Each of the three helicopters can be assigned to any of the three duty stations: Hawaii, Camp Pendleton, or North Carolina. So around the end of September/beginning of October we will know: 1. the helicopter Jordan will be flying 2. where we will be moving for the 6-8 months of training for the RAG and 3. where we will be stationed for the following 3 years after the RAG.

While I am excited at the prospect of soon being able to "settle" and plan for my own future as an individual, we are also trying to savor these last two months of flight school. Rumor has it that flight school is the best time Marine Corps aviators will experience in their career, because supposedly it is the least stressful and least time consuming of their career-although I really can't fathom how that can even be possible!!!!!!

Wow, so it seems that with all my spare time these blogs have taken on a rambling ADD nature more introspective and reflective theme,  rather than a documentation of our experiences and Jordan's training as it has in the past. I really can't tell you in much detail about Jordan's training, as he is much too busy and exhausted to tell me much about it. And well, frankly when he does, it just sounds a whole lot like this:

Becoming a(n) (In)Dependent

In the military life, the active duty member (Jordan) is characterized as "the sponser", and his family members (me and our future children) are labeled as his "dependents."  Once we entered the active duty military lifestyle, I became dependent on Jordan for a lot of things in my life: where we would live, therefore where I could work, my health insurance coverage, as well as access to the general benefits and the amenities the military has to offer. And yes, while according to my government-issued ID, I may be his dependent, over the last few years I have found that the only way military spouses can mentally survive this lifestyle and it's unique challenges is by trying to become a strong independent.

Not only do spouses have to deal with time apart during deployments, I had no idea how much time apart we would spend apart during his training phase, from weeks in the field at TBS to many weekend cross-country flights in flight school. Even when Jordan is home, he is still gone, with 12 plus hour work days flying, only to come home to hours upon hours of solitary confinement, studying. Military spouses spend the majority of our time alone, and that's why becoming independent, finding our own interests, and keeping busy is so important. Although I have no problem filling my days with activities, friends, and household tasks,  I still find myself on a constant rollercoaster of emotions for another reason. Embracing the military lifestyle and finding my identity amongst the chaos and the life path it dictates, is still even now, a daily challenge.

It's a hard sensation to describe, especially when on paper it seems like life is so good. It is a sinking sensation that you wake up to each day, like you don't feel like you have a significant purpose to get out of bed for in your life anymore (however, I don't mean to worry you, when I read this back it sounded a little scary and could be interpreted in the wrong way). Each day just seems to pass like the last.  Hours, days, weeks, months go by, but you have nothing to show for the time elapsed, because you have stopped learning and growing as an individual. Life, and time,  just seems to just be passing you by. Instead of running alongside of life, gaining speed, passing milestones, you are stuck, and the world keeps spinning, and time keeps ticking. Some days are easier than others, some weeks and months easier than the last, but there are always days that are a little bit darker than the rest. It's an experience and set of emotions that I have found so many of my fellow military wives share and are constantly going through. We are all, always, on some point of this emotional spectrum, especially those whose husbands are also in flight school and who too, have not yet settled into a duty station.

Even though I do have a community who understands and shares my experience, I find myself comparing my hardship to theirs (although I know, and as Rick Warren pointed out in his sermon this week at Saddleback Church, comparing never comforts). I still find myself envious of those who have been in Florida for the past year and half, as only a small portion of pilots have had to move their families to Texas for the middle portion of their training. The majority of flight students spend their entire time training solely in Florida. In the past 2.5 years we have moved 4 times, and are gearing up for our 5th move in the next two months, therefore averaging about 6 months in each place.  Don't get me wrong, I have greatly appreciated the opportunity to see different parts of this country, meet new people, and experience different cultures, and I am so thankful for this blog which has captured all of our amazing adventures and good times along the way. However, trying to find myself and my career in the midst of all of this has been beyond overwhelming to say the least, and most days I find myself completely lost and overwhelmed about my own future as an individual and my own personal career.

Looking for jobs that will support and bolster my career and cultivate my own individual interests and personal goals has been an interesting experience. My time at Ethan Allen was a blessing; however, I realistically wouldn't have been hired for that position if there wasn't the possibility that we could have stayed in Texas for an additional year for training, which would have happened if Jordan had selected any of the other 3 flight platforms. Upon looking over a military spouses' resume, the first questions an employer asks, after clearly realizing the various locations of one's employment are from different states, are: "is your husband military?" "how long will you be living here?" When asked these questions by Ethan Allen, my response was that there was a 75% chance that I could be there for 2 years, which was technically only a slight exaggeration of the truth. I understand from a business perspective that it can be costly to have a high turnover rate of employees, and time-consuming to be training someone who will only be around for less than half a year. So on the flip-side, what do you do as a military spouse? Lie?  Or do you take positions that are okay with short-term employment? Although, even then, who really wants to hire someone who is going to be around for less than a year, and what kind of position could that possibly be for? Certainly not for a career-oriented, non-entry-level position!

I have discovered that I am not either of those people, the person that lies to get the position they want, which bolsters their career and goals, or the one that settles for an unfulfilling entry-level job that is below their education and experience level. This experience becomes increasingly more frustrating when not only do you not have what you want in this present moment for yourself, but furthermore, you don't have a solid plan for the future, or when you will even be able to make that plan, because you don't know where you will be 3 years from now, let alone  in 2- 6 months. It feels near impossible to even begin to plan, to be able to look into the future and know that once we reach this spot, this milestone, this location, this will be my plan and my career will finally be back on track. How does a "dependent" become an independent when one's life is so unpredictable?

Feeling so lost, so overwhelmed, and so directionless at times has left me empty, and disappointed in myself. There have been many times when Jordan has come home from a full-day of work to find me, still in my pajamas or, on good days, some form of work-out clothes, sitting amongst a messy house and half-done chores, with tears welling up in my eyes. There have been times when I have wondered if I was on the verge of  slipping into a depression. However, I am so thankful for my weekly girls nights to put things in perspective. When we sit around and get to talking, I realize that my fellow spouses have those same days, where tears just flow from nowhere just because their husband says hello and they realize the house is still a mess and not a lick of cleaning has been accomplished all day. Or those days where getting out of pajamas and into work-out clothes becomes an accomplishment for the day, and marathons of Law and Order:SVU or Sex and the City become a self-inflicted prison sentence to the couch for hours on end. Or most embarrassingly, when you all worry what your lives have come to, when days are counted by the increments of 29 mins and 59 seconds you have to wait to regain another "life" in the mindless iPhone game of Candy Crush Saga. Once we realize we in fact are not in need of a mental evaluation, or perhaps more accurately, that we are not alone in needing a mental evaluation, we allow ourselves to just laugh and laugh, as there really is no way to logically explain this phenomenon of the "flight school funnies." What's life without a healthy dose of crazy, anyway?

I know I have mentioned Rick Warren's sermon this past Sunday once already, and I may mention it a few more times before this post concludes, however  it really spoke to me this week. Rick Warren is doing a multiple week series on "Getting Through What You are Going Through" based on his personal struggle with the tragic death of his son and the steps of healing. Although his message was coming from an extremely different place of incredible pain and an extremely devastating and tragic personal story, his words spoke to me in a different way, in a way that I truly needed at this moment. He referenced Galations 6:2 "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." The Lord intends for us to share our sorrow, and He heals through community. I have realized that I am so blessed to have the incredible support system of these ladies, who share this sometimes hard-to-describe and relate-to experience.



Found this on pinterest, makes me laugh every time!

Despite being 2.5 years into our military life, I never felt overwhelmed or lost before. I have concluded that this may be attributed to the significance this year plays in my life in reference to various milestones. This year is my 10 year high school reunion, which also means 6 years from my college graduation,  and it has caused me to reflect back on these years and ask myself what do I have to show for them? What have I personally accomplished? This reflection has resulted in a sense of disappointment and, frankly, embarrassment I find in my own accomplishments (or lack there of), especially because I was blessed enough by the sacrifices of my parents to have had the opportunity to get my degree at an amazing (and very expensive) university. Right now it feels like the only thing I have to show for it is my diploma, which is sitting in a frame taking up space on a shelf, collecting dust, documenting years of dedication, hard work, and mocking me with a distant promise of great things to come. Sometimes I feel like I have been living the life of a 50's housewife while the rest of my peers in the civilian world have been thriving in the world of 2013. To add insult to injury, I turned 28 last week and that too hit me hard.  I just turned the age my mom was when she had me! My parents both had their careers established by this point, owned a home and were having a baby at my age, and I am still trying to figure out what I am supposed to be when I grow up!!!!! Even for those spouses who manage to morph their initial major and career of choice into something that is compatible with the ever-mobile lifestyle the military demands, they cannot deny that their career isn't exactly what they had envisioned before the military was in the picture. At the end of the day, a spouses' career will always come second and be dependent upon the city and state their husband's career will take them, and the duration of time it allows them to stay.

The majority of our blog has focused on the milestones of Jordan's career, our moving adventures and the exploration of the various states where we have lived; however, it wasn't a complete picture of OUR military experience, albeit it did document the very best parts of it. I debated about writing this blog and sharing this personal side of things, as I have only really shared it with my military family, who of course lives it first hand too, and with my mom on a few, but still limited occasions. However, although it is so personal, it's very real, and it is what a LOT of us spouses go through.  Jordan attributes it to the fact that I surround myself with like-minded individuals. That many of my friends, like me, are go-getters and hard-workers, girls that always prided themselves on doing well, going far, and measuring their accomplishments by the successes they achieved in school/college growing up. And perhaps that's true, but whether a spouse has their bachelor's, master's or simply a high school diploma, whether they are trying to find a career, or perhaps just their own personal identity, it is all the same. We are all living a life that, at the end of the day, is dependent upon and dominated by decisions that revolve around the progression of our husband's career, and it's something all spouses, on some level, experience. It can be hard to open up this side of our life and our experience, because not only do we feel somewhat overwhelmed and depressed at times, but we also feel alone in these emotions because there is a sense of guilt in feeling this way or venting about these emotions to others. How can you share or complain, when one knows she is so blessed in so many ways and feels so happy in so many parts of her life, and yet so sad and depressed at the same time? Especially when you know life could be so much worse, and is for so many people.

Whenever I start to get overwhelmed by this ever-present and increasingly nagging emotion, I know I just need to pull myself up by my bootstraps (or the laces of my running shoes), and attempt to change my perspective. I know in my heart that where I am right now, is right where I am supposed to be. That these 2.5 years of career limbo do not matter in the end, because I am supporting my husband (and as Jordan insists on adding in, the country in my own way), and this is where I need to be. Keeping a clean house (or at least attempting to), making sure flight suits and cami's are always clean, and ensuring my husband has nutritious paleo meals of extremely large quantities at his beck and call may be simple and mundane tasks, but it makes his life easier and leaves him to fully concentrate on being the best he can be in flight school, and therefore, the best pilot he can be for the Marine Corps.

In yoga, our instructor often reads from the book, "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie, and one passage recently really spoke to my heart, and I couldn't be more thankful enough for it's perfectly timed message about being "In-Between." The passage goes into more depth, but I have included the parts that speak most strongly to this situation:

"Sometimes to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between [...] to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them. [...] We may feel empty and lost for a time, we my feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush [..] we may have many feelings going on when we're in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. We need to accept them, feel them, release them.

Being in-between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in-between place. It's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination. We are moving forward, even when we're in-between. "

Each of the daily meditations in the book end with a positive affirmation and I have found myself reaching for this affirmation often on those hard days when I feel myself slipping back into that place of negative energy and disappointment, "Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in-between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good."


 Jordan and I have found ourselves living a more zen/hippie life, at least I am sure that's what it looks like from the outside, but for us it is more of a "spiritual awakening," I guess you would say. I have always had religion in my life, but lately Jordan and I have really felt and lived spirituality in our daily lives, and not just for an hour on Sunday. It is so interesting how certain things in your life come together at the same time to complement each other and build something beautiful out of seemingly disparate influences. Some may call this coincidence, but Jordan and I both believe it's something stronger. I had a teacher in high school, who we all affectionately called "Doc," who would say, there are no coincidences in life, only God-incidences. Jordan chooses to use the word "frequencies" from his recent interest in Abraham Hicks and the Law of Attraction. Basically, in his interpretation, certain people and things come in to your life at a certain time because you are exhibiting the same vibrational frequency and are therefore attracting them to your life. Did I lose you yet? I may not totally be on board with actual vibrations being sent out into the atmosphere, but I like the idea of being on the same frequency. Perhaps, in the most basic way, that if you are feeling a certain way or have a particular mindset, you will be open to, and see similar and complementary things around you, more so than if it wasn't in the fore-front of your mind. So call it what you want, coincidence, vibrational frequencies, or divine intervention, but Jordan and my's "spiritual awakening" came to us through a variety of influences:

1. Jordan's interest and study of the Abraham Hick's Law of Attraction
2. My newfound love of Yoga, and the meditations and readings of Melody Beattie that I was introduced to through my Yoga instructor
3. My parent's discovery and love for Saddleback Church, which has now become something Jordan and I watch from an online Campus every weekend as well
4. St. Ann's Catholic Church on Gulf Breeze, which is a 45 minute drive for us, but has a contemporary Catholic Mass on Sundays at 11am that inspires us and reaches us like no traditional Catholic service ever has
5. Jordan and my newfound interest in the teachings of Buddhism and those of Ghandi, as a byproduct of our ever-growing interest in yoga
6. Various books such as The Little Book of Contenment and The Power of Now

Some of these may seem contradictory: Buddhism, Catholicism, Law of Attraction? Don't worry dad, I am not going to turn into a Buddhist. However, from all of these things, what has come together for us is the daily appreciation of life. It sounds so simple right? But in a world dominated by technology and constantly connected by smartphones, learning to be fully present in every single moment is a challenge. We are trying to find the focus and the beauty of every single moment and of our surroundings, and in every situation, both good and bad, we are finding gratitude for it. We try to start each day with 15 minutes of journaling, an exercise based on another book by Melody Beattie, Making Miracles in 40 Days, of what we are thankful for. It is so AWEsome when you discover that the more gratitude you have in your life, the more God seems to give you to be grateful for. Starting our days like this opens our eyes to seeing all the blessings in our surroundings and experiences, like little beautiful surprises planted along our day to smile at and bring us joy.  It may sounds so elementary writing down what you are thankful for, and maybe some of you are thinking okay, they have really lost it now, but for some reason this little task seems to unlock and create even more blessings to be grateful for throughout the day, perhaps simply because we are seeing everything through positive-colored glasses.


So in this light, I say thank you. Some days I may have to repeat it a few times until I really mean it. But I thank God, life, and the universe, for everyone and everything that enters into my day . I thank this process for allowing me to turn negative energy into positive energy, especially on the most challenging of days, and the idea of gratitude in general, which truly unlocks more beauty and blessings in daily life.

I will wrap this up with one last reference to Rick Warren's sermon last week and Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die ... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." We are all going to experience the rollercoaster of emotions that come with life, and my fellow wives and I will always be facing the unpredictability and unique challenges of the military lifestyle again and again. However, we know that there can't be highs without lows, or peaks without valleys, and it is in the valleys that we grow the most spiritually, and therefore, we can find a way to be grateful for even these experiences!

I didn't intend to ramble for so long on this blog, and I did not share this side of our experience for sympathy or accolades for my sacrifice, or anything of that sort, but instead to create a fuller picture of our life and the military experience many of us wives share. I am not alone in this experience, and I am so thankful for my fellow spouses who I am blessed to count as some of my closest friends, who too are trying everyday with me, to learn to go His way, and not necessarily our way, and what we had envisioned previously for our career, school plans etc. The best thing we as "dependents" can do for our husbands is to be strong independents in our faith, who know and take pride in our value, even when we find ourselves in these "in-between" places. I am incredibly grateful that there are other military spouses out there that are so spiritual, so positive, and open, as we all support each other in learning to love and trust what the Lord has laid out for us in this shared military experience!


Hope you all have a wonderful week!  God bless , GOOD VIBRATIONS, and ...